The party was split with mostly adults upstairs and kids of all ages downstairs. Because my 2 year old was floating between the two levels, I had to go downstairs frequently just to get a visual check on him.
Most of the kids brought their IPods or phones and were using them at various points throughout the afternoon. It seemed that the usage increased as the time ticked away. As if they ran out of things to say to the other kids within 20 minutes and reverted into playing games and texting people who weren't there. Within an hour, most of the kids were glued to their devices.
I don't get it.
Blame the kids? Blame the parents? Or is that simply the way we are headed? Are we veering towards a society where we don't actually talk to people but simply communicate through a 2x3 screen? Makes me think of that scene in Wall-E where everyone is shuffling along not actually talking to each other until he bumps one lady's monitor away from her face and she realizes that there is an entire world at her feet that she has never seen.
I talked to my sons about it when we got home. Declan said he doesn't get it either (he is very social and prefers to talk face-to-face. A lot.) but Angus said that not having his Ipod only made him feel more awkward, more like a 'loser' for being the odd man out. I understand about the need to fit in and conformity as a teenager, but really? What is the point of going to a social gathering if you aren't going to socialize?
I talked to my sons about it when we got home. Declan said he doesn't get it either (he is very social and prefers to talk face-to-face. A lot.) but Angus said that not having his Ipod only made him feel more awkward, more like a 'loser' for being the odd man out. I understand about the need to fit in and conformity as a teenager, but really? What is the point of going to a social gathering if you aren't going to socialize?
Someone I know likened this activity to the bookworm of yesteryear but I don't think it is quite the same thing. I think we all knew the person who had their nose in a book instead of playing marbles on the playground. For me, it was my oldest brother who preferred the company of novels instead of us. But it was the exception ~ most of us were engaged in the discussion, play, activity, etc. The bookreader was the odd man out.
The norm today seems to be to not be engaged ~ or at least not fully engaged. Declan goes to a monthly dance at school... there is a DJ and dance floor in one room and a multitude of games going on in the other: chess, checkers, basketball, etc. DS reports that tons of kids that make the decision to leave their houses and attend this public event yet choose to spent the time on their IPod or phone, texting the friends who aren't there and playing video games. I have to ask: Why bother going? Is the satisfaction simply by sharing the same space with other individuals who are equally isolated? It just feels wrong to me.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who will say it is how kids communicate these days and we parents need to accept it for what it is and learn how to adapt to their way ~ but I have a hard time accepting this. I don't see the benefit to communicating electronically for 90% of your interaction (as the mom of a 2 yo, I certainly see the benefits to E-communication). People can behave differently when they can hide behind a computer screen. There are no consequences, that they witness, to the affect their words have on others. And we all know how sometimes what we intend to say and what is actually perceived are two different things. When talking face-to-face, it is easy to see the misstep in communication and correct it ~ electronically, this is much harder. But maybe that is the crux of the issue: maybe it is too hard to take ownership of your words and be responsible for the effect they have on others. It is easier to just blog it, text it, facebook it and move on with your life and let the chips fall where they may.
It isn't limited to just kids. It is easy to chalk the behavior of the kids up to their lack of maturation, lack of parental guidance and limits, lack of training... but the adults??? I don't understand what the need is. What is the void that the blackberry fills? Do we constantly need to have our finger on the pulse of everything out there but never really connecting to any of it?
The norm today seems to be to not be engaged ~ or at least not fully engaged. Declan goes to a monthly dance at school... there is a DJ and dance floor in one room and a multitude of games going on in the other: chess, checkers, basketball, etc. DS reports that tons of kids that make the decision to leave their houses and attend this public event yet choose to spent the time on their IPod or phone, texting the friends who aren't there and playing video games. I have to ask: Why bother going? Is the satisfaction simply by sharing the same space with other individuals who are equally isolated? It just feels wrong to me.
I'm sure there are plenty of people who will say it is how kids communicate these days and we parents need to accept it for what it is and learn how to adapt to their way ~ but I have a hard time accepting this. I don't see the benefit to communicating electronically for 90% of your interaction (as the mom of a 2 yo, I certainly see the benefits to E-communication). People can behave differently when they can hide behind a computer screen. There are no consequences, that they witness, to the affect their words have on others. And we all know how sometimes what we intend to say and what is actually perceived are two different things. When talking face-to-face, it is easy to see the misstep in communication and correct it ~ electronically, this is much harder. But maybe that is the crux of the issue: maybe it is too hard to take ownership of your words and be responsible for the effect they have on others. It is easier to just blog it, text it, facebook it and move on with your life and let the chips fall where they may.
It isn't limited to just kids. It is easy to chalk the behavior of the kids up to their lack of maturation, lack of parental guidance and limits, lack of training... but the adults??? I don't understand what the need is. What is the void that the blackberry fills? Do we constantly need to have our finger on the pulse of everything out there but never really connecting to any of it?
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